2026-10-31 A Buddhist Perspective: How to Stay Kind When Others Aren't

How to Stay Kind When Others Aren’t
Saturday 31 October 2026
10.30am–12.30pm
At Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam John McBretney
A BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE
“If we cherish others, we will be happy all the time.”
— Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Eight Steps to Happiness
It’s easy to be kind when others are kind to us. But when people are difficult — critical, unkind, or unfair — our instinct is often to withdraw, react, or protect ourselves.
In these moments, kindness can feel unnatural or even impossible.
This talk explores a deeper understanding of kindness — not as something dependent on others’ behaviour, but as a strength that comes from within.
From a Buddhist perspective, much of our difficulty in relationships comes from self-centredness — a strong focus on our own feelings, expectations, and point of view. When this dominates the mind, even small interactions can become sources of tension.
By gradually shifting our attention towards others, we begin to respond differently — with greater patience, understanding, and mental space.
Kindness then becomes a source of inner strength and stability, rather than something fragile or easily lost.
You will discover how to:
- Stay kind without suppressing or denying your feelings
- Transform difficult relationships into opportunities for growth
- Develop inner strength grounded in compassion and wisdom
About the teacher
Kadam John McBretney has been studying, practising and teaching meditation for over 30 years. Appointed Resident Teacher of Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre by the renowned Buddhist master Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, he is known for his joyful and down-to-earth style, and for a rare ability to make even the deepest subjects feel clear and immediately useful, whether you are new to meditation or have been practising for years.
Schedule
- Talk, meditation and questions: 10.30am–12.30pm
- Refreshments: 12.30–1pm
Book now
Free for Silver, Gold and Platinum members
Members of Heruka KMC can attend in person or join live via Zoom. Become a member.
Upcoming Courses & Retreats

Upcoming Courses & Retreats
2026-09-12 Find Peace Beyond Stress and Anxiety (Sat 12 Sep)
Find Peace Beyond Stress and Anxiety
Sat 12 September 2026 – Half-day Course 10am–1.15pm
Book nowAt Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam John McBretney
2026-09-26 Explore Buddhism: Karma – Nothing happens without a cause (Sat 26 Sep)
Explore Buddhism: Karma – Nothing happens without a cause
Sat 26 September 2026 – 10.30am–12.30pm
Book nowAt Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam John McBretney
2026-10-03 Gain Freedom From Inner Turmoil, Silent Day Retreat (Sat 3 Oct)
Gain Freedom From Inner Turmoil - Silent Day Retreat
Sat 3 Oct 2026 - 10am to 3pm
Book nowHeruka KMC, Golders Green
Silent Guided Retreat with Kadam Ai Peng
2026-10-23 Post Fall Festival retreat (23-25 Oct)
Post-Fall Festival Retreat – Our Real Heart Jewel
Fri 23 – Sun 25 Oct 2026
Book nowAt Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam John McBretney
The first session on Friday is an introduction, so no festival attendance is needed
2026-10-31 A Buddhist Perspective – How to Stay Kind When Others Aren’t
A Buddhist Perspective - How to Stay Kind When Others Aren't
Sat 31 October 2026 – 10.30am–12.30pm
Book nowAt Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam John McBretney
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