2026-10-31 A Buddhist Perspective: How to Stay Kind When Others Aren't

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How to Stay Kind When Others Aren’t

Saturday 31 October 2026

10.30am–12.30pm

At Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green

With Kadam John McBretney

A BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE

“If we cherish others, we will be happy all the time.”
— Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Eight Steps to Happiness

It’s easy to be kind when others are kind to us. But when people are difficult — critical, unkind, or unfair — our instinct is often to withdraw, react, or protect ourselves.

In these moments, kindness can feel unnatural or even impossible.

This talk explores a deeper understanding of kindness — not as something dependent on others’ behaviour, but as a strength that comes from within.

From a Buddhist perspective, much of our difficulty in relationships comes from self-centredness — a strong focus on our own feelings, expectations, and point of view. When this dominates the mind, even small interactions can become sources of tension.

By gradually shifting our attention towards others, we begin to respond differently — with greater patience, understanding, and mental space.

Kindness then becomes a source of inner strength and stability, rather than something fragile or easily lost.

You will discover how to:

  • Stay kind without suppressing or denying your feelings
  • Transform difficult relationships into opportunities for growth
  • Develop inner strength grounded in compassion and wisdom

About the teacher

Kadam John McBretney has been studying, practising and teaching meditation for over 30 years. Appointed Resident Teacher of Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre by the renowned Buddhist master Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, he is known for his joyful and down-to-earth style, and for a rare ability to make even the deepest subjects feel clear and immediately useful, whether you are new to meditation or have been practising for years.

Schedule

  • Talk, meditation and questions: 10.30am–12.30pm
  • Refreshments: 12.30–1pm

Book now

£15.00

Free for Silver, Gold and Platinum members

Members of Heruka KMC can attend in person or join live via Zoom. Become a member.

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"When the turbulence of distracting thoughts subsides and our mind becomes still, a deep happiness and contentment naturally arises from within.” 

Geshe Kelsang Gyatso