A Buddhist Perspective: How to Stay Kind When Others Aren't

How to Stay Kind When Others Aren’t
Saturday 31 October 2026
10.30am–12.30pm
At Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam Ai Peng McBretney
A BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE
“If we cherish others, we will be happy all the time.”
— Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Eight Steps to Happiness
It’s easy to be kind when others are kind to us. But when people are difficult — critical, unkind, or unfair — our instinct is often to withdraw, react, or protect ourselves.
In these moments, kindness can feel unnatural or even impossible.
This talk explores a deeper understanding of kindness — not as something dependent on others’ behaviour, but as a strength that comes from within.
From a Buddhist perspective, much of our difficulty in relationships comes from self-centredness — a strong focus on our own feelings, expectations, and point of view. When this dominates the mind, even small interactions can become sources of tension.
By gradually shifting our attention towards others, we begin to respond differently — with greater patience, understanding, and mental space.
Kindness then becomes a source of inner strength and stability, rather than something fragile or easily lost.
You will discover how to:
- Stay kind without suppressing or denying your feelings
- Transform difficult relationships into opportunities for growth
- Develop inner strength grounded in compassion and wisdom
About the teacher
Kadam Ai Peng McBretney is the Resident Teacher of Duldzin Dragpa KBC and has trained in Kadampa Buddhism for many years under the guidance of Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso Rinpoche. Drawing from her own experience of applying Buddha's advice in daily life, she shares the teachings in a warm, practical way that helps people see how to bring peace, happiness, and meaning into their everyday activities.
Schedule
- Registration from 10am
- Talk, meditation and questions: 10.30am–12.30pm
- Refreshments: 12.30–1pm
Book now
Free for Silver, Gold and Platinum members
Members of Heruka KMC can attend in person or join live via Zoom. Become a member.
Upcoming Courses & Retreats

Upcoming Courses & Retreats
2026-10-23 Post Fall Festival retreat (23-25 Oct)
Post-Fall Festival Retreat – Our Real Heart Jewel
Fri 23 – Sun 25 Oct 2026
Book nowAt Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam John McBretney
The first session on Friday is an introduction, so no festival attendance is needed
2026-10-31 A Buddhist Perspective – How to Stay Kind When Others Aren’t
How to Stay Kind When Others Aren’t: A Buddhist Perspective
Sat 31 Oct 2026, 10.30am–12.30pm
Book nowAt Heruka Kadampa Meditation Centre, Golders Green
With Kadam Ai Peng McBretney
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With Kadam John McBretney – Why we take things personally, and how to let go.
2026-11-14 Guru Yoga & Mandala Offering Retreat
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Sat 14 – Sun 15 Nov 2026, 9am–6.30pm
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2026-12-13 How to Have a Happy Christmas (Sun 13 Dec).
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Sun 13 Dec 2026, 11am–1pm, followed by Christmas lunch
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Sat 19 Dec 2026, 10am–1.15pm
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With Guest Teacher Kadam Lucy James – Resident Teacher of KMC London
2026-12-31 New Year’s Eve Celebration (Thu 31 Dec)
New Year's Eve Celebration
Thu 31 Dec 2026, 7.30pm–12.10am
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With Kadam John McBretney – A peaceful, alcohol-free way to see in the New Year
Public Talks with Gen-la Dekyong, 8 May 2027
Public Talks with Gen-la Dekyong
Sat 8 May 2027
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London, WC1H 0ALWith Gen-la Dekyong